Take me by the hand
by vampiric love56
Summary: But this time I was sure that I was going to jump. I was outcasted by my family, friends and the one person that mattered the most; Edward. Suicidal themes.
1. Who's Life?

**TAKE ME BY THE HAND**

**A/N: new storyyyyyyyy**

**hope ya'll likee. Im trying sumthing different. **

**Please give the song a try... and the story. Listen to the song.. I think it sorta goes with the story line.**

**If u want go to my profile and go onto the link with my website on it. It has a banner, but im goin to improve it**

**disclaimer: I hate these things...i think its obvious that I dont own Twilight..no where near as gud as Stephenie Meyer  
**

**BETA NOTE:***This story is really easy to beta, but give it a chance. the ideas are really good, and i will be here the whole time to oversee anything... much love AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtinElf (Courtney) :P

**summery:** What if your best friend started dating the person you loathed, the person that gave you those scars you bared. What if your best friend and your friends didn't believe you. What if you decide that its time you gave up on your friends, the love of you life and your own?

But this time I was sure that I was going to jump. I was outcasted by my family, friends and the one person that mattered the most; Edward.

~Suicidal themes.~

'But this time I was sure that I was going to jump. I was outcasted by my family, friends and the one person that mattered the most; Edward.'

~Suicidal themes.~

**CHAPTER 1: Who's life?**

**SONG: I'M WITH YOU~Avril Lavigne**

"**Why is every thing so confusing?**

**Maybe Im just out of my mind"**

~ Avril Lavigne, I'm with you

I ran as fast as I could. I didn't stop and I wouldn't stop not for anyone.

My heart was torn in two.

I wasn't wanted or desired, I was just looked down on. No one wanted me as their friend, they all left me. They made that decision clear. They all wanted _her,_ they all chose _her_ over me, including Edward, and he was my best friend and the love of my life.

I was their play toy, something to amuse them. They gave up on me because of _her_.

I've told them what she did to me; I even got Alice to believe me for about half a day before she decided I was lying.

How I hated _her_. She ruined my life, took my friends and Edward; although he was too blind to see how much I loved him, more than just a friend.

Angry tears welled up in my eyes but I continued pushing them back, my trust in my "friends" had finally broken. They all told my dad that I was going crazy; being clumsy on purpose just to get attention. They told _her_ that I had told them what she did to me. I could never trust anyone ever again, not after this. I forgave people too easily, excluding _her_. What she did to me was unforgivable, and what Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie had done was also now unforgivable.

I ran to the only place I wanted to go too, the one place where I knew I was wanted and not looked down upon.

I got to the bridge that I used to go to when I was depressed, when I felt like giving up, where I used to think about where I went wrong. The bridge that I dreamed of jumping from, to a watery grave, but never actually took that leap.

But this time I was sure that I was going to jump. I was out casted by my family, friends and Edward. _She_ made sure of that.

I had written a letter to Edward explaining why I jumped, why I chose to end my life this way. I told him of my love for him and how it was killing me on the inside to see and know he didn't want or love me the way I did him. I told him that I had given up on trying to convince everyone that my scars were from _her_, I finally accepted that he would never believe me. By the time my letter was done it was soaked in my tears. I ended the letter with;

_'I loved you so much, I'm sorry I was ever your friend because it ruined the both of us._

_Bella.'_

I even gave him my list and the charm bracelet he gave me, the two things that kept me from breaking when he said he loved _her. _I wouldn't need them where I was going.

My life was sealed in that envelope, including my heart that had stopped beating long ago.

And now I had nothing to live for, nothing to keep me from taking that final jump. I look down into the water, noticing small flecks of golden fish beneath the green depths. I looked out over the glistening water and marveled at its beauty, wishing that for once I could be that majestic, before realizing that I would be a part of that beauty soon. I took a finial breath, reveling at how good I finally felt; how safe and secure I felt… knowing that no one was here to stop me. I could not be saved.

* * *

**A BIG awsum hug to my beta ** **AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtonElf**** she is wiked and veryyy talented, she helped me a lot!!**

**read her storys!!**

**I recommend: The dark inside me**

**its really guud with suspense all over it!!!**

**THANNXXXX **

**hope you like and enjoy...like I said its a new type or writing topic wise but I think it might go somewhere....**

**ohhh nd I know wats gona happen and you dont!!**

**READ and REVIEW if you lurveee me.. I know you do!!**

**Xo~**

**krissy**


	2. The List Starts

**Take me by the hand**

**A/N: **thanks for the reviews and alerts!! Um yeah so new chapter

**Summary: **What if your best friend started dating the person you loathed, the person that gave you those scars you bared. What if your best friend and your friends didn't believe you? What if you decide that its time you gave up on your friends, the love of your life and your own? But this time I was sure that I was going to jump. I was out casted by my family, friends and Edward.

**Chapter 2: The List Starts**

"Everything you say to me brings me closer to the edge

and I'm about to break"

___**One Step Closer - Linkin Park**_

All of this started when I moved to Forks. I was only 12 and my mum, Renee had chosen her husband over me. I remember once the saying _Sisters before Misters, _mum had said it once to her friend. They were having an argument because she was moving to Canada with her fiancé and leaving mum here alone in Phoenix. Mum was already married just really dependent on others.

When I was four years old she decided she had had enough of Forks and took me with her, but I knew she didn't want to take me she was just doing it to spite Charlie.

Well after that mum decided she wanted more time with Phil; not that I minded she always chose him over me. I was sent back to Forks to my dad, Charlie. He was over happy that I was back living with him. He had missed out on eight years of my life and for that I couldn't forgive Renee. She was first on my list,

_People who gave up on me..._

_Renee Dwyer/Swan (mother)_

This list was to prove to myself how unwanted I was, but it somehow kept me going.

When I got to Forks primary school for my first day the kids all looked at me like I was an outsider. Of course I was; I was new!!

On that day I made friends and enemies. I wasn't fond of those two little blond girls and that scrappy brunette. Jessica Stanley was the brunette she had slightly frizzy curls and she was nice when the blond clones weren't around, but I still refused to talk to her voluntarily. Then there was Lauren her hair was dyed bleach blond, and she had sex hair. Don't even ask me! She was twelve years old and her parents let her look like a dirty slut, she was never nice. And last there was Tanya, I internally sneered her name, when I say or think her name it slices another gash into my broken heart. She was poison, she burned you, and she wasn't good for anyone. I wouldn't even wish her to my enemy, although she is my enemy I wouldn't think about wishing her upon herself. Tanya had strawberry blond hair with loose curls; she was slim and had a perfect tan. Basically a Barbie in every way.

They were the girls that harassed me. They saw how clumsy I was and used it to their advantage. They pushed me onto the gravel laughing and screeching. They never took it any further than that until the Cullen children came to school two months after I started.

There were five of them, all adopted. Emmett was big, not in the sense of fat but built. Rosalie was tall and blond, not like Tanya's group blond...but naturally blond with a deep wave to her hair. Jasper was Rosalie's twin brother and older by four minutes, he was tall, thin and had the same color hair as Rosalie. Alice was a small girl and petite. She had dark brown hair, lighter than Emmett's, and it was cut short and spiky like a pixie cut. Then there was Edward. He was tall lean and had vibrant emerald green eyes. His hair was messy and an unusual bronze color.

Their first day was like a disgusting nightmare; Tanya made her presence known to Edward straight away. She walked past him and brushed her arm over his chest and walked away.

Later during the school day I was sitting at the benches reading when I saw three pairs of shoes stand in front of me. I looked up slowly pulling my nose out of the book.

"Get up!" screamed Lauren.

I obliged and stood up on shaky feet. Tanya pushed me with a hard force that it made me lose all air in my body and knocked me over into the garden, throwing my book in the opposite direction. A sharp pain came from my left shoulder. I turned my head to it and saw a long gash along my upper arm. Blood was pooling out of it while Tanya and her snobs walked off laughing hysterically. I slowly raised myself from the ground and walked over to the taps to wash the blood off. I couldn't let anyone know what happened.

After I cleaned up I started my way back to the seat and collected my book. I grabbed it quickly when the bell blew signaling the end of lunch. Kids were gathering outside of their classes including the Cullen's outside of my classroom.

My arm was throbbing; maybe I should go to first aid, tell them that I fell. But I ignored that thought. I walked past everyone to go into class and accidentally brushed my left arm across Edwards. The pain overwhelmed me and I started to cry. Tears rushing down my pink stained face. I tried my hardest to hide my face and keep walking but Edward caught up with me before I had to walk into class.

"Hey, um... Bella right?" Edward asked me faltering.

"Yes" I squeaked trying to keep my voice even and failed miserably.

"I'm sorry making you cry, but I don't know what I did." his face was pale and sad, like it hurt him that I was crying.

I looked closer at him, his features more defined. He had a sharp set jaw, straight nose, eyes that outshone emeralds, hair messy and the bronze was beautiful.

I looked away from his face to turn my head to the floor, looking at all the indents that were on it. "Nothing," I mumbled, trying to avoid talking about it.

"But your crying, Bella, please tell me what I did." I could feel his eyes watching me, burning a hole into my head.

I shook my head like a five year old. I couldn't tell him no matter how much I wanted to. I wanted to scream it to the world.

"Bella, please." he whined. Boy he was persistent.

I ended up giving him the only excuse I could think of.

"I'm clumsy; I tripped while coming back to class and cut my arm." I forced out a smile. "No biggie." I said shrugging my shoulders.

His eyes widened and his face was almost red. He looked like he could blow up.

"NO BIGGIE?" He yelled. I backed away from him slowly still looking down. "Bella your arm is bleeding! Really badly!"

I looked at my arm and saw that there certainly was a LOT of blood flowing out of my arm.

Edward was wigging out, shaking even. He pushed his hand out towards mine and held it tightly. A weird tingly feeling waved through my hand to my fingertips. Edward dragged me to the nurse's office and I heard a faint gasp. The nurse looked at my arm and quickly sat me down on a bench. Edward followed closely behind.

She disinfected my arm and put a big band-aid on it. She insisted to call my parents to send me home and I just nodded after trying and the result being effortless.

My dad came instantly and hugged me tightly and I explained that I tripped being clumsy. He accepted my answer and walked me out of the nurse's office as I waved goodbye to Edward.

The day I met Edward changed _everything._

**A/N: Ok we met Edward, more Cullen's coming next, plus more of the blond clones...plus Jessica...**

**PLZ reviewwwwwwwww**

**Big epic thnxx to my beta Courtney... ****AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtonElf**

**She's wicked sick talented **

**Ohhh and thanks to Amber, ma best friend who is ultra sick read her stories hail(.)to(.)the(.)busdriver(.)**

**Thnxx again **

**Xo~**

**Krissy**

_**Beta Note: You seriously gotta love young Edward; he is so cute and sweet. If I'm going to plug a story other than my own (he he) then my favorite at the moment would have to be "The Screamers" by KiyaRaven**_

_**Much love,**_

_**AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtonElf**_

_**xx**_


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